KISSING LIFE.

It feels good writing again; it’s been 6months since I last wrote on my blog. So it only felt right to start it up again. You would expect the last 6 months to be packed with so much events and activities, well you’re quite right. The last 6 months has been a rollercoaster, since moving back to London after leaving Luton, I’ve met some interesting people. Am currently in a new relationship and a blessed one at that, but the only difference with this relationship is the fact that have kept our relationship very private. I see this as the only way to avoid things going wrong, and getting hurt. Apart from my new relationship, I’ve started at a new university; I felt the need to change my course and place of study. The new course is Event Management, and I know it’s going to be very exciting. With all this said i believe the rest of the year will go by smoothly and peacefully.

Above is a picture of what I wore to Nickky’s house party.

Nikky’s b-day was loads of fun, met up with my old friends, dat I haven’t seen in such a long time. The music was on point, everything you could think of afro beats, funky, soca. It was just live. The food was also perfect, ate till I couldn’t breath no more. Lol Over all, it was a great night.

OK…. Here it is, Let me start off by repeating “pleasing everyone just isn’t possible, u would be mad to try”.
I’ve come to realise that people will always be people, people will live their life the way they want, right or wrong? They will make decision that could be right or wrong? I can testify to this…. However, that’s why we have people who love us, around us. To help us and guide us, I wont lie sometime this can be bad and can be good.

Some people go over board and some are just on point, however, everyone makes mistakes, even when people are trying to help or advise, it might come out the wrong way? “That’s something to think about? My mum always say to me, those that you try to help, but don’t accept it with open arms, will soon regret what they’ve done and come back, only for you to say “I told u so”

Caring for people, at times turns sour. They tend to think you overly bothered, and can’t sleep, or move on with you life. Which is far from it, as everyone has a life, but others tend to become waste? Such as not going university, not working, socialising, having a relationship or dating… but I have all the above, and more. As am always on the go.
I write this post with so much emotion. Personally I’ve given up…. It’s just better that way. What’s meant to be will be.
As I always say, those who you love and those who truly love you back in return, are the people I should be bothered about. Point blank….

I honestly put my hands up and say am not perfect, I don’t think anyone is… expect from my My Lord and Saviour. I see myself as a magnet, I walk through this journey “I like to call life”, I will attract some people and they will connect, but there’ll be people who won’t be strong enough to stay on. So they end up dropping off, which is for the good of things.

As much as I love to confront most situations, this one will be an exception. I really don’t need to, due to the fact that I’ve gained satisfaction, from knowing I was right……point blank.

I’ve decided to add people only when it’s needed, it’s not hostility, but it’s the only option left, sooner and not later people will be drop off. But if were meant to still have some type of conversation, relationship, involvement……. “Only” then I have no problem with that at all, as this is known to me as destiny.

But newayz………. “With the above isolated”…….Life at the moment for me is Good, very good, I don’t over estimate things, so things work out better that way for me. I don’t trust anyone except family members and some exception lol, and I am able to achieve my goals, which I have started achieving.

Read the next post on my blog, for the rest of my life journey so far. Glory Be To the Lord Almighty.
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Intimate relationships between a man and a woman could go in various directions.

It’s almost impossible for a person to understand certain emotions felt by another person unless that person has actually been through the experience themselves.

Whilst there are many positive aspects of being in a relationship, there can be instances where women find themselves intricate situations.

 

Married Men!!!

What am about to explain to you in this post is based on a real events.

As the writer that I am, I believe in writing post that will benefit my readers so I always refer to true incidents and real life experience. That way, I ensure that you, my readers, can identify and relate what myself or other women are going through or have gone through all in the name of LOVE.

The ball is now in your court. What you do with the information provided to you in this article is entirely dependent on you. Personally, I would learn from it and use it as preparation for what the future brings towards me but as I said, the decision is yours.

This post involves a woman named Torn and a man named Deceiver.

Most women like to test the waters before they actually commit, which is only natural. Testing the waters is just fancy way of saying ‘dating’. We know the purpose dating serves; to give the woman an idea as to what a guy is all about, what he’s able to provide and how he could benefit her and vice versa. This was the same procedure Torn took. She played hard-to-get, very hard-to-get. She took her time, made sure he was her “Mr Right”.

Eventually she gave Deceiver a chance. They began speaking on the phone every night. He did all the calling because she still wasn’t 100% confident in him. They spoke about everything. Everything. He told her about his past ‘lifestyle’, which resulted to him being a father. Yes, Deceiver admitted that he had a kid.

The fact that he had a kid made Torn very unsure about him and the future, if any, would share. But she couldn’t fight against her growing feelings for him. He did everything right. He gave her the attention a woman deservers, she had no reason to complain. As a result, confidence in him grew more and more to the point where she happily and comfortably admitted that she loved him.

She believed in him. In her eyes, he could do no wrong. She committed to him, as every woman is able to. She dedicated her time and effort into what they shared. She glowed in everyone’s eyes. Everyone could tell that Torn had a new man in her life and that she was in love. Torn wanted her man to be comfortable around her family, which is natural for a woman in a relationship especially one as serious as hers. She wasn’t thinking of marriage or anything, LOL, let’s just say for she wanted to feel the extra reassurance and security involved in ‘meeting the family’.

Deceiver agreed to meet the family and so agreed, so done. He enjoyed their company and the feeling was mutual. Everything was going all too well, nothing seemed like it could go wrong even if it did, Torn was confident it could be resolved as with every normal couple’s ups and downs.

Not too long after did everything come crashing down.

Deceiver  asked Torn if they could meet as he had something important to say to her. She agreed. I mean, why not? He is her man. He came to her house, picked her up, took her out somewhere quiet and peaceful. “What would you like to tell me?” She asked.

And that’s when he dropped the bomb…

“Am MARRIED”.

This came as a big shock to her. All efforts to stare him in the eye and not cry failed. She was TORN. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. She hated him instantly and to her surprise Deceiver had more to say. More bad news, that is.

“I’m also expecting another child with my wife.

**If your mouth is hanging open with shock at this moment, please close it. Lol**

Words couldn’t explain how Torn felt. It was almost as if the world, her world turned against her. The heartache and devastation was unexplainable. She couldn’t understand why he would have wanted her to go through this pain.

He deceived her. Their whole relationship was based on a lie.

She walked away, but he begged her. Telling her he truly loves her, so he couldn’t hide it from her any longer. He apologised in so many ways, begging and seeking for her forgiveness. She left him crying and upset.

After a while, she forgave him in hopes that they could still be together.

As the woman that I am, judging another woman is almost unimaginable. Only she can experience what life brings in her direction and only she has the right to make her choices, so I cannot shun Torn for her decision to stay with Deceiver.

She look at the situation this way – he couldn’t do anything worst than this and if he was so good to provide her everything she needed before he broke the news to her things would actually become better than they use to be.

It was hard for her to leave the man she love. A man she shared so much with; body and soul. A man she let into her life and her family. Starting again wasn’t an option for her, it would be too hard.

Torn thought of the shame that would derive from her leaving yet another man. She started to wonder could it be that she was the problem? Or is it that drama just seemed to come her way all the time? Either way she wasn’t ready to leave him, so she stood by her man, for what it was worth. Most men would have carried on with the lie, but Deceiver didn’t.

Torn and Deceiver carried on their relationship, they grew stronger and overcame their obstacle. Not long after, Torn noticed a change in Deceiver. He wasn’t the same. She hardly saw him, and their regular 2 hour conversations turned into 2 minutes quick calls. Taking her out was out of the question. She questioned him on the sudden change. His response “You complain too much.”

Weeks turned into months and things went from bad to worst. She actually looked at herself as the ‘Sideline Ho’ ( Monica’s got a song titled Sideline Ho – check it out).

She was just existing as opposed to living the life she once enjoyed with her man. Torn felt like her life was paused because she didn’t know where she stood, but she still waited on thin ice. She kept making excuse for him. “He’s going to change.” As the story went on, he never did.

There were days he called when he was in his best moods. This gave Torn the reassurance she needed, which explains why she kept holding on.

A new year rolled around, and she’s still in the same predicament. She’s hoping and praying, but she knows Deceiver isn’t her man.

Sooner, and surely, not later she will move on and Deceiver will surly get what’s coming to him. “Every man does“.

 My thoughts

As women, we put ourselves through so much. We put our hearts through unnecessary pains. We are very vulnerable. We are delicate and should be treated with nothing but love. My advice to Torn is to be strong as she said herself, Deceiver isn’t her man. Her man is out there somewhere, waiting to treat her like the queen she is.

Deceiver may proclaim his undying love, but he could never leave his family in the pit, no man could. I do see the love they have for each other. Maybe in another time and in another world they could have been the perfect couple. It’s just not meant to be in the present.

For any woman out there in a similar situation, enjoy what you have left and move on. A man who’s married can never be yours completely. He doesn’t come home to you, or give you the late night conversations you deserve, he doesn’t pay your bills, or cater to you the way he would for his own family.

Women be smart, and learn from this. You may say that this would never happen to you but believe me when I say, this is a typical example of what men can do to us and what we sometimes unknowingly fall victim to.

Stay blessed, and stay Smart.

So let me start by saying  Happy New Year to everyone, may the Lord carry on blessing us all. Am very thankful to be apart of the year 2009, am sure this year will be a year of strength, courage and power. So how did i enter the new year? well the obvious, i went to church.

Knowing me and my big family, i went to church with a crowd lol. I had my cousin’s and their parents, my extended family from Nigeria and My friend Zindzi. The whole night was beautiful, i was with the ones i love most and we were all about to enter the New Year together.

2008 was a great Year, filled with so much emotions, challenges, love, heart-ache and so much more. Looking back now i can say am a strong lady, some would have given up and lost hope, but with all the ups and down God was on my side and here i am, apart of 2009 and looking forward to every moment.

Am looking forward to so much, there’s so much i look forward to achieving this year. And with God’s grace all will be achieved. I wish you all a Happy New Year and all the luck in the world. This year i promise to keep my blog up to date, as i didn’t in 2008 lol, there’s so much that lies ahead of us all, knowing me lol…………………………………. lol…………..lol am 100% sure there will be alot to share with you all.

Lots of love from ur gal, Ms Lopes. mwah xxxxx love you all.

 

The way i look at life is you, take a look, take a step back, look again and then make that very important decision.
I’m blessed with common sense, am blessed with confidence and maturity. am blessed with positivity, am blessed with certain people, not all but certain people in my life. these people are those, that i can have that very IMPORTANT, MATURE AND PERSONAL conversations with. no need to mention names, they know themselves.

where am i going with this, well, i’ve taken a look at myself, well i tried and i say tried to take, myself out of my body, and evaluate myself, now that i’ve done that. AM NOW READY TO MAKE THAT VERY IMPORTANT DECISION.
i always find myself in situations, i could have never imagined, i put myself out there ” almost looking to get myself hurt”. well, that has now stopped, there’s many things am looking to change in 2009, like certain conversations i have with people, because for some reason, they tend to use it against one.
Secondly, i use to think being open with people, was a easy way to live life, am not one to keep many secrets, due to the fact that i stupidly thought that you could confined in people. nevertheless, this will all change.

i use to think change was such a bad thing, almost like one is trying to become someone their not, but this time around, changing will be for the good of things. Not to change my personality or faith, feelings etc, but to protect myself and prevent myself getting hurt by others.

Am looking to enter 2009, with happiness, joy, love and peace of mind. I’ve taken a look at myself real good, hope you all do the same. Because in this world that you and i live in, its dangerous, cruel, selfish and hurtful. So prepare yourself, u’ve been warned.